Message to Myself

• This evening I have been wandering through previous years’ blog posts hoping to call forth my Muse again.  You know, I used to actually write, not simply recounting the events of the day, but truly write.  I am hoping, and formulating a discipline for myself, to return to that frame of mind in the coming year.
• The past week I have been missing Karen a tremendous amount, a hurting amount at times.  We were cousins by blood, but sisters – soul mates, even – by heart.
• I stumbled across the following post on my original blog from September 2009, a few short months after Karen’s passing.  Stumbled?  Was drawn to without conscious intention?  Whatever the manner in reaching it, I am sharing it below for it is indeed a message to myself tonight. 

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If we live long enough, we will lose someone.  I’m talking about losing someone to death, the loss when another soul departs this Earth.

If you’re reading this, you have lost someone, sometime.  It happens.

What do you do?  Most people grieve, rage at the Universe perhaps, and finally, hopefully, be able to remember the departed with fondness.  One learns this is the Cycle of Life and one moves on . . . always remembering the person who is no longer with us, but still . . . moving on with Life.

What about the other folks?  The ones who cannot get past that first stage of mourning, of loss, of emptiness, of dependence on the one gone, of weaving the departed one into the fabric of their own life through constant talking of them and not being able to recalibrate their own existence . . . instead basing their world on the soul departed.

Yes, I know we all deal with loss in our own way.  I’m not saying what is right for one person is right for another in this process.

Still, it seems such a waste of existence to be so wrapped up in, so still-clinging to, one who has been dead for a number of years.  Seems like the person still here is missing so much of the vibrancy, the texture, the colors, the realization of a full life for themselves.  Do all their friends tolerate or enjoy the constant referencing of everything to the deceased?  Does it become tiresome to them and perhaps distressing if they have recently lost someone themselves?

Does this result in a rather morose and depressed individual?  Someone who is insecure in their own right, unable to make their own way in the world, unable to even hold down a job?

I would imagine this occurs in varying degrees.  Perhaps the person can perform on a basic functional level and appear to have gotten past the loss and yet still be mourning on an internal level.  We all hear about the remaining partner dying not long after their spouse after a long-term marriage.

If someone through the course of an eight-hour day mentions the departed at least once every hour and expresses their own existence in relation to the departed . . . can this be healthy?  This lamenter comes across as being sorrowfully depressed and, quite frankly, the listener can eventually feel bombarded and pummeled by so much negative energy; too much of “poor little me.”

Do we not owe the memory of the departed the honor of living a full life?  If one believes in an everlasting spirit of the departed, do we not owe them the right to be free?  By not keeping their spirit so close to us that it is restricting them from moving on to being fully at rest in the Hereafter?

Step outside your own sorrow.  If not for yourself but for your love of the departed, let them be free.

Let go.

Perhaps my viewpoint comes from being a strong person.  Oh yes, I have experienced losses.  I have mourned, cried, raged, lost my faith and reclaimed it, known that life would never be the same without the person and, yet, stumbled on through the haze, the fog, the sorrow . . . coming out on the other side knowing Birth, Life and Death are all part of our journey on this earthly plane.  

Is it a spiritual faith that allows one to come to terms with loss?  Is it being tough-skinned?  Is it being a survivor?  Is it being a Warrior?  Is it just being human?

I certainly do not profess to have the answers.  I feel for those who cannot let go, who yet cling to the departed.  My personal history causes me to feel some impatience with these people for allowing so many of the joys of each day flutter by without reaching out and grasping some happiness for themselves, clinging to that happiness as tightly as they cling to the memory of their lost ones.

Each day is a gift, not to be squandered.  I have recently lost my beloved Karen.  I miss her more than I can express; however, the pain eases just a bit each day.  I can call her memory up now and not be sorrowful but smile instead.  She was so full of life, laughter and faith and we shared so much of that . . . I carry on now in a joyful life, laughter in my home and heart, and my faith restored.  I like to think she watches over me . . . that she is by my side when I need strength . . . that she gets a silly laugh when I do something goofy.  I still talk to her . . . when I hear the chirp of a tree frog in the evenings I say, "Hiya cuz, whatcha into?  What’s happenin’?  I’m doing good.  See ya!"   Feel her presence?  Yes, definitely, but not as often as during the days immediately following her death.  Letting go; letting her go.  Instead of clinging, I try to honor her memory by living the way I did before she left, as I know she would want, and as I must . . . for each day I am here are a few more additional hours I have been blessed with since that day in 2002 when I met my own mortality.  I consider every day since that time to be “overtime,” to just be time I have been given as a bonus, an extension until my own “expiration date” comes up on the calendar of Life.

Should we not be at peace, loving, laughing and living to our fullest as we walk this Earth?

Thanks for stopping by!

Celebrate the Small Things - A Blog Hop Post

 

Gosh!  It’s Friday again and time to Celebrate the Small Things!

Dave knocked my socks off last Christmas with the gift of a silver link bracelet with diamond chips throughout.  Living the philosophy of saving “nice” things for “special” occasions, I wear it daily.  In fact, the only time it comes off my wrist is when I’m on the mower.  Well, a couple of days ago I thought I had lost it.  Figured the clasp broke or came open somehow and . . . it was gone.  I tell ya, I was truly in tears trying to accept that it was MIA but still refusing to believe it was gone; I still felt a spiritual connection to it.

Yes, it is “just” a bracelet, but Dave obviously took great care in selecting it and enjoyed seeing me all silly-girly-giddy-mushy when opening it Christmas morning.

A couple of hours later, there, on the ground by our RV . . . relief! 

Celebration!

It is tucked away until I can get to the jeweler to see about getting a different clasp.

That’s it for this week.  Of course, there’s always the celebration of being being alive and essentially healthy, the nice weather we’ve been having the past week and . . . well, stuff!

What are you celebrating today?

 

Celebrate the Small Things - A Blog Hop Post

 

 

Every Friday it’s time to Celebrate the Small Things!

• I’m celebrating our new smoker/grill I found yesterday!  I’m glad it wasn’t too late in the season to find one.  Put it through the curing process today.

Tomorrow we’ll have salmon burgers and then Sunday I’ll be doing chicken and sausage with corn on the cob from a local farm vendor.  Sweet.

• We had an impromptu midweek campfire a couple of days ago.

I so enjoy our campfire evenings, quiet time spent together sitting by the fire or rummaging around for more twigs.  Hubby spoiled me with this unplanned evening and he has been prepping for this weekend by splitting logs today.

Guess I’m celebrating a laid-back lifestyle and an awesome husband!

• I am also celebrating and giving thanks for having doctors here who are people and not just clinicians.  They – referring to my medical doctor and my surgeon – actually listen to me and treat not just the medical condition, but me as a person.  Awesome.  These days, that is certainly something to celebrate, eh? 

What are you celebrating today?

Celebrate the Small Things - A Blog Hop Post

 

 

Another week has just about flown by and I find that it is time to Celebrate the Small Things!

 

• If you read my previous entry, you would know that this past Saturday I celebrated being two years out from a second cancer diagnosis.  Yay!  That is definitely not a small thing.  Carpe diem!
• Thanks to social media, I recently reconnected with a gal I met while we were workamping in Missouri during the Winter of 2010.  She and her husband were parked next to us during those miserable couple of months.  One does meet some good people in this lifestyle.  That is certainly cause for celebration!

Parked right on a lake, it was cold and windy – December 2010

• I celebrate the fact that certain songs can cause my soul to soar.

What are you celebrating today?

Celebrate the Small Things - A Blog Hop Post

 

 

Guess I’m trying to make up missing last Friday by composing this entry Thursday evening.  Now if I can remember to post it tomorrow . . .

 

• Tonight I’m celebrating the gift of Eagle making a fly-by directly over me this afternoon.

 

• This afternoon I visited my hair stylist for a cut.  Ahhh . . . that feels better!  At every appointment with her I celebrate the fact that it is a relaxing experience, she and I have a comfortable relationship ongoing now for over three years, and I can emerge from the shop lookin’ good.  Catherine is a good-hearted and talented young woman, coming here to me to cut my hair during the interval between my cancer surgeries two years ago . . . and not charging me for the visit.  She works from a salon a 30-minute drive from here through the countryside now, having moved there from a salon about five minutes from here earlier this year.  No surprise that I followed her when she transferred.

 

• Although I marvel at and celebrate the man who is my husband, I’ll mention tonight that I am fortunate to be married to someone who understands,  supports and encourages my idea of a solo retreat weekend on my own.  I’m considering taking a weekend to myself in the near future and am looking at renting a wee cottage or cabin not far from here.  I’m looking at Lancaster or Gettysburg, PA and in the Poconos.  I envision a weekend of writing, meditating and napping.  Throughout my life, I have been an independent gal, taking road trips on my own, tent camping solo and so forth.  We are together essentially 24/7 and it has been several years since I have ventured out on my own.  Perhaps it’s time to do so again, just to stay in practice!  At any rate, I am celebrating having a supportive partner.

What are you celebrating today?

Thanks for stopping by!

 

March 6, 2013 - Insecure Writer’s Support Group - Final Post, For Now

 

 

This will be my last post as part of the IWSG, at least for now. 

With each new month, I have no progress to report on my project.  I am finding that in itself to be counter-productive.

There has been no discernible progress on my WIP, just fits and spurts here and there.

I have not given up on the idea but need to do it on my own terms, which means cubby-holed away from external “noise” and pressures; i.e., distancing myself from so much social media, including this mandatory every first Wednesday blog posting.

In all honesty, since my cancer experience last summer, my creativity has been elusive, my inner “little voice” has been uncharacteristically quiet.  My focus has been more on “real-time” enjoyment – time spent with my husband and dog, my walking routine, listening to music, reading, adjusting to my body’s “new normal,” meditating and, of course, the everyday routines of life.

I’m in a sort of minimalistic phase, reducing clutter in my life.  That has taken the form of everything from cleaning out closets to decreasing the number of blogs on my reading list to bowing out of some social media sites.  There have been simply too many demands on my attention, and I am working to reduce that with hopes that I will have more inner “me” time and that my Muse will once again become a frequent companion whispering in my ear.

At this point, I intend to continue this blog for now with occasional wee stories unrelated to my WIP and other reflections on my path as a writer.

You all are such a wonderful group and I sincerely appreciate your support and kind comments over the past months. 

Thanks for stopping by!

The above bracelet is a Toby and Max creation.

February 6, 2013 - Insecure Writer’s Support Group

 

Good grief, Charlie Brown, has it been another month already?

I’m feeling very insecure this month. 

I can blog; when I’m on a roll with a thought, I’m good.  I can take a writing prompt from The Writer’s Retreat Kit and run with it.  I’ve done ad copywriting.  I have chapters of my WIP in my head.

I am, as my husband has said, quite capable of writing a book. 

Problem is – and it’s my problem, my hang-up – when I have a couple of hours here and there for myself – quiet time – I sit down to “work on my book” and my words seem to dry up.  What I put down feels awkward.   I think, “I’ll curl up in bed tonight with my netbook and do some writing when it’s quiet.”  Forget that.  I’m ready for lights out by the time I hit the blankies.

Give me a month alone, two weeks alone even, and I bet I could crank out what I want to say.  Quiet time with no outside influences to let my inner “little voice” emerge again.

That’s not gonna happen.

So I’m plotting against myself, or with myself, to get over this hurdle, this self-imposed handicap.  I’ll retreat to my writing neuk here in my office, put music in my ears and pretend I’m sharing my story with one person, not a faceless multitude.  Make it an intimate environment.

Think it’ll work?  We’ll see.

How do you carve time out for yourself away from spouse, partner, job, everyday routines to allow time and space for your muse to be entertained?

Thanks for stopping by!

I am a Warrior.

The above bracelet is a Toby and Max creation.

January 9, 2013 - Beginnings Blogfest

 

Reading blogs on my list this morning, I found out about the Beginnings Blogfest which happens today!  Yikes!

Any beginning is fair game, but I think I’ll share with you how I entered the realm of blogging.  This is also a tale of the beginnings of a new life with my beloved Scotsman and how I came to call Scotland my second country.  It is also a tale of self-discovery as a Writer.  So cozy up, and I’ll tell you a story, albeit a wee bit over the length of a typical blog entry.  I apologize for that, but hope you’ll walk with me a while.  Apparently this is what I do; I tell stories.

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Back in November 2005, I accompanied my then fiancé (now husband) Dave to his homeland of Scotland.  He had proposed over the phone in April of that year, again in person in June (in Washington, D.C. where we met for the first time, but that’s a whole ‘nuther story)  and was back in the States for a visit in October.  We had started the paperwork process to acquire a Fiancé Visa for his immigration to the States, and the plan was for me to travel to Scotland to be with him during the interviews for said visa.  Things were moving along more swiftly in that regard than we had anticipated; therefore, we decided that I would travel back with him instead of waiting and going over on my own.

I had other reasons for making a prolonged trip to Scotland.  I wanted to meet Dave’s two grown sons and hopefully get to know them and they know me.  I wanted to see what makes Dave, Dave . . . his homeland, his culture, his life.  I also wanted to see if I could live in Scotland should, heaven forbid, his visa be denied.

I stayed with Dave at his flat in Dunfermline (near Edinburgh) from November 2005 until our return to the States together in February 2006.

So there I was, about to travel 4000 miles on my first trip abroad after spending just shy of three weeks with this man to whom I was engaged.  Although well-traveled in the USA, I was a virgin at traveling abroad.  “Will my ATM card work there?”  “Yes, darlin’, we even have indoor plumbing and electricity!”  Ha!

My family and friends (as they had done when I announced our engagement) were saying, or at least thinking, “You’re going to do what??”  Needless to say, I know they had concerns even though they had met Dave during his visit.  “What if things don’t work out?” they might ask.  “Well, I have a return ticket.  I’ll just change the date and come home.  I’m a big girl.”

(Many months later after we had returned to the States, I learned from my aunt that during a farewell hug at the airport, Dave whispered in her ear, “Don’t worry.  I’ll take care of her.”)

Taking a leave of absence from my job as a home-based medical transcriptionist, for the first time in my adult life I was not working.  Dave resumed his work routine as a pipefitter for the Royal Navy at the Rosyth Dockyard.  Although we took long-weekend trips around Scotland to Loch Ness, Glencoe in The Highlands and other amazing places, I had time on my hands to do as I pleased.  I kept up the house, laundry and marketing.  (It’s amazing how many groceries you can put in a backpack!)  I hopped a double-decker bus and went “up town” into Dunfermline and prowled shops, the library, the Glen (a park) and just soaked up the atmosphere by walking, walking, walking.  I took thousands of photographs with a new camera purchased for this adventure.

There were many hours, however, when I was cozied up in Dave’s flat (condo) with time on my hands.  For the first time, I could allow my creativity to emerge, and I met my Muse. 

What better way to let family and friends know that I was okay and to share my experiences than to blog?  Not only could I  share my thoughts, feelings, photographs and experiences at the time, but would have a record of this adventure for myself in days and years to come.

So I set up a blog on MSN Spaces and began documenting my Scotland experience.  That site no longer exists, but I did migrate it to Wordpress prior to the demise of the MSN blog hosting venue.  I maintained that blog until we began transitioning to our lives as full-time RVers, at which time I began Phoenix Once Again. 

The text of my Scotland blog is still available at Journeys Through Scotland and Beyond, sans the photos that were part of the original site.  My Scotland chronicles begin in November 2005.

Free of job and many everyday responsibilities, I was essentially on a three-month vacation or, as it turns out, somewhat of a writer’s retreat.  I discovered the joy and release of putting my internal thoughts and emotions into an external form and sharing that with others. 

I became a Writer, although I really did not acknowledge that at the time. 

~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my tale.  I have a dream of putting together a compilation of such stories of self-discovery, lessons and insights gained from Life as a Reiki Master/Teacher, a two-time cancer survivor, full-time RVer and survivor of Life.  This project is currently in development; however, if you found pleasure or interest in the above tale and would like to hear more, I sure could use your encouragement with my WIP (work in progress). 

~~~~~~~~~

I am a Warrior.

The above bracelet is a Toby and Max creation.

January 2, 2013 - Insecure Writer’s Support Group

 

This entry is part of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group

Isn’t there an old saying that whatever you do on the first day of the year is what you will be doing the rest of the year?  If so, I’ve made a decent beginning of it, as my activities have been varied today and have included some writing.

It is not yet midnight, I wrote a letter to an old friend and this is my second blog post of the evening.  I also had a short talk with my hubby about my want and need to spend more time devoted to writing this year.  That means me spending some “weird time alone,” as we call it. 

When I get in the writing groove, I’m just “gone.”  Music in my ear buds, I am sequestered in my own wee world, oblivious to all else. 

Let’s face it, I lost six months of WIP-related productivity in 2012 due to a cancer diagnosis and related treatment followed by a visit from a hurricane named Sandy. 

I did, however, come up with a format and have an outline just about done.  In December I spent a few bucks on a basic, no-frills netbook which is devoted to this project.  Right now I’m curled up on the daybed, dog at my feet and netbook running off its battery.  Cool beans!

Now I just have to write the book, take these chapters and pages in my head and transform them into an organized form – gosh, I was about to say, “on paper,” – on disk? on stick?  on screen?  Whatever.

Do I still believe I have things to say folks will want to hear?  I don’t know.  I have had some doubts the last couple of months; however, if no one does, at least I will have told the tale for my own sake.

Isn’t that part of the reason we write?  Because we have stories in us which we need to set free?

Happy writing, ya’ll!

Thanks for stopping by!

I am a Warrior.

The above bracelet is a Toby and Max creation.

 

 

December 5, 2012 - Insecure Writer’s Support Group

 

 

Well, here we are again, time for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group post.  Last month at posting time, we were still without power and water as a result of Hurricane Sandy.  We’re fully back in the world . . . complete with both of us sharing a cold/flu bug between us.  I’m on the mend but still feeling a bit rough.

Truth be told, although I have thought about writing, I just can’t seem to get back in the groove.  This is my brain on decongestants/antihistamines = _______________ .  Flatline.

Well, okay, one afternoon I did work a bit on a chapter outline for my WIP.  I guess that counts.

Do I sound a bit insecure?  Absolutely.  Seems like this year it’s been one “forest fire” right on the tails of a previous one.  About the time I’m feeling “normal,” along comes something else that knocks me on my butt.  My energies (physical, spiritual and creative) are continually focused on maintenance of daily routines and recovery from whatever crisis just presented itself.  My butt has just about been kicked to the curb in 2012.

~~~~  sigh  ~~~~

I’m just going with the flow, reminding myself that there is a time for everything.  Right now I’m working on getting the last remnants of this bug out of my system, enjoying the holidays and winding down 2012 with a hopeful outlook towards 2013 as a less eventful year, at least a less negatively eventful year.  Positive events?  Bring ‘em on!

Thanks for stopping by!

I am a Warrior.

November 7, 2012 - Insecure Writers Support Group

It’s time yet once again for a post as part of the Insecure Writers Support Group.

We are wrapping up Day 9 without power and water.  Yes, we have a generator and are fine right now for bottled water.  (Thanks to the volunteers at Wal-Mart distributing free water the other day!)

Our days are focused on maintaining power to our RV, keeping ourselves and our wee doggie Maggie warm.  My writing efforts are limited to updating my blog chronicling our life on the road as full-time RVers.  I invite you to visit and follow along at Phoenix Once Again for a view of life before, during and after the Hurricane Sandy/Nor’easter combo.

Thanks so much for visiting!  Now go write!

I am a Warrior.

October 20, 2012 - Write 4 Ten - Appendix (How My Appendix Saved My Life)

 

 

This entry is a “Write 4 Ten” story, in which one writes for ten minutes on a given prompt.  Want to try it for yourself?  Click on the little lady up there to visit Donna B. McNicol’s site.

~~~~~~~~~~

You can read all about this lovely little body part on Wikipedia by clicking here.  In short, the appendix doesn’t really do much in our bodies these days after years of evolution, except . . .

I went to bed on July 10, this summer not feeling all that great and with a little crampy feeling.  (Okay, you may already think you know where we’re headed here.)  By 6 PM the following day, I was headed to emergent surgery in a local hospital with what was discovered to be a ruptured appendix.  By that time, I really didn’t care, as the morphine was doing its work and I was feelin’ pretty darn mellow.

My surgeon was absolutely tickled and perhaps a bit amazed, (“You’re doing so well, considering . . .” ) that I was up walking the halls the morning following surgery and was progressing so very well.  Fast forward to my follow-up visit with him about 10 days later for removal of stitches. 

Again, my postsurgical progression was almost extraordinary, considering the condition of my appendix at the time of surgery. 

That was the good news.

The not-so-good news was routine pathological examination of the appendix showed a tumor, defined as goblet cell carcinoid.  Goblet cell carcinoid is a very rare type of cancer with less than 1000 cases diagnosed in the USA annually and an overall 5-year survival rate of 76%. 

Actually, there was more good news.  Because of the appendicitis, the tumor had been found in its early stages, Stage IIA.  Following more extensive surgery a month after the appendectomy, I’m well on the road to recovery with a decent prognosis .

Had I not had the appendicitis, the tumor would not have been found until very probably in a more advanced stage and my prognosis would be much more dire.

My wee vestigial organ was looking out for me, along with whatever angel or spirit or being in which you might believe.  Yes, my appendix saved my life.

Have you hugged your appendix today?

Thanks for stopping by!  Now go write!

I am a Warrior.

October 17, 2012 - Write 4 Ten - In the Ambulance

 

This entry is a “Write 4 Ten” story, in which one writes for ten minutes on a given prompt.  Want to try it for yourself?  Click on the little lady up there to visit Donna B. McNicol’s site.

~~~~~~~~~~

In August of this year, I experienced my first ambulance ride.  Although I was conscious and the situation was not immediately life-threatening, it did necessitate the calling for an ambulance and EMTs.

Looking back, some aspects were funny.  Well, at least to me with my somewhat “dark” sense of humor.  Ever look at the TV show “Emergency” or “ER”?  The ambulance staff is supposed to alert the hospital that they are in their way in with a patient.

These guys did not have the emergency room phone number of the hospital.  At least one did not have their cell phone with them.

So here’s where my inner strength persona Sarah Conner of the Terminator films kicks in.  “I have the hospital main number programmed on my cell phone.  You can call it and get routed to the emergency room.”

Sheesh!  Here I am the patient, for goodness sakes, and I’m providing resources for the ambulance staff!

Talk about being one’s own advocate in a healthcare situation.

Seems like one of them might have been fairly new or in training, as he appeared a bit unfamiliar with the operation of the stretcher.  All I could think about was “I sure hope they don’t drop me” when sliding the stretcher out of the ambulance and lowering the stretcher legs.  It looked like a bit of a drop to the ground from my viewpoint and I could just see a broken arm or ankle on top of my other medical issues.

I will say that they were professional, friendly and compassionate.  The three-man crew got me to the hospital where I needed to be, safe and sound and expeditiously with no incidents. 

Thanks to the staff of our local rescue crew for an interesting experience, albeit one I hope not to repeat for a long, long, long time.

October 10, 2012 - Write 4 Ten - A Field of Flowers

 

 

This entry is a “Write 4 Ten” story, in which one writes for ten minutes on a given prompt.  Want to try it for yourself?  Click on the little lady up there to visit Donna B. McNicol’s site.

~~~~~~~~~~

There were few flowers the day we gathered, coming together for a bittersweet occasion.  Among friends old and new, our purpose was to honor a loved one no longer with us on this Earth.  There was gentle laughter and quiet talk, old memories shared and new ones in the making.

I began reading the tribute to our loved one I had prepared in the prior days.  Smiling and fighting back the tears as I recited the words, I knew our beloved was present in Spirit and smiling her winning grin as she heard the words sharing her life and personality with the small gathering in the bright sunshine.

Our dog Maggie was with us, having come into our lives only a short two months prior.  She was her usual friendly self, only toned down a bit in what all remarked was a showing of respect to the one we were honoring. 

As my words finished, I noted I was not the only one with eyes misted over, yet there was an atmosphere of joy and love in the air.  What more could one ask at a life celebration for a dear one?

A few months later, I received photo from my friend, on whose property our celebration had taken place.

“Baby’s spot” was now covered in Texas Bluebonnets after nourishing rains, a lush field of flowers. 

I do believe my beloved canine companion  of so many years would be pleased that her ashes are part of not only Texas and such a lovely setting, but that she is resting with friends.

October 3, 2012 - Insecure Writers Support Group

 

Welcome to some new followers in September!  Thank you so much for joining up and for your kind comments!

 

 

Wow!  It’s already been another month and time for another post as part of the Insecure Writers Group. 

September was another month whose focus was on healing from my surgeries this summer.

I am thinking in a more creative direction a bit more frequently, so I suppose one could call that progress towards some serious writing again.

I did participate in a blog hop in September, The Follow-Swap Blog Hop sponsored by Katherine at Beyond the Hourglass Bridge.

Still, I just don’t feel emotionally, physically and creatively  ready to settle down to work.

Dave and I have been enjoying campfires in the evenings as often as practical and right now I’m soaking that up – enjoying our time together in the evenings tending the fire and talking; before long Winter will be here and campfires will be over for this year.

I’m back at work more (we are an on-site security team at a former paper mill, having this property and two others under our responsibility).  Yesterday, for instance, was very hectic with some issues and visitors to the property.

One of the issues is a black bear roaming the property and even being sighted inside the mill!  Yesterday the Fish and Wildlife warden delivered a bear trap with the hopes in relocating the bear.

Additionally, our wee dog Maggie underwent surgery yesterday for removal of bladder stones.  Once she was home last evening and today, I have spent my day with her monitoring her progress and tending to her.  She’s doing fine, drinking and eating today, but still in a bit of discomfort and needing assistance in and out of our RV, etc..

 

My life is full and good.  I know my Muse is waiting patiently and that we will spend some quality, fun time together in the near future! 

Thanks ever so much for stopping by!

I am a Warrior.

September 24, 2012 - A Blog Hop!

 

 

You may have noticed things have been a wee bit quiet here the past couple of months.  That’s what appendicitis, a cancer diagnosis and two surgeries will do to one’s writing schedule and inclination.  I’m reentering the world a bit more every day and happened to find this mentioned on my friend Donna’s site My Write Spot.

Throwing all caution (and projects I planned for this morning) to the wind, I have jumped in!  I hope you will visit Katherine’s site at Beyond the Hourglass Bridge to see what it’s all about and visit the participating sites.  Thanks, Katherine, for sponsoring this fun project. 

Okay, I’m off to check out some blogs!

Thanks for stopping by!  Now go write!

 

. 

August 21, 2012 - A Bit of Normalcy

 

Normalcy – whatever that is! 

Today was a few wee steps in that direction.  Hey, I even got dressed this morning and have managed to remain that way so far!  Very comfortably and loosely dressed but at least not in a gown or a “my mother would buy this” housedress.  Sweet!   Dave and I tagged teamed some laundry.  Some paperwork – both personal and business – got taken care of today.

Slowly.  But done.

This morning was very pleasant out, so I got in 2 miles of walking before 8:30 AM, knowing it would warm up pretty quickly.  I’m hoping to get the remaining mile of my daily 3-mile goal done later this evening when it cools down a smidgen.

We had visitors today at the mill.  Two retired gentlemen pulled into the parking lot, their car sporting a Georgia tag.  Seems they are on a “strolling down memory lane bucket list” vacation.  Having lived for many years in the area 30+ years ago, they left wives behind in Georgia and are revisiting old haunts and reliving memories while they can still enjoy doing so.  One of them worked at the mill and lived within walking distance.  They just wanted to park, stroll the grounds a bit and visit about days gone by.

We cleared it with our boss and allowed them to do so.   It was fun visiting with them, learning a bit more about the history of the area.  They seemed to get a kick out of the visit and seeing the mill (even just across the river from the outside), so I’m glad we could accommodate them.

It was nice to have a bit of activity around here, too!

Dave remarks that I am much more mobile following this surgery than I was at the same stage following the appendectomy last month.  He’s right, and that’s cool! 

My staples are to come out Thursday at my follow-up visit with the surgeon and I’m ready for those puppies to be gone!  I know that will feel better.

I find that I am still very emotional, but that is just one of the stages of survivorship.  A very good friend and sister survivor of breast cancer said it probably  has something to do with having a wee conversation with Death.

Again. 

Really?  Ya think?  Go figure.

Again, I know it’s one of the stages.  I’m not depressed, but rather find the tears that can come so easily are those of joy, gratitude and a fullness of the heart.

There are whispers floating in my head of picking up work on my writing. 

All in good time.  Right now I’m plodding along as I can and want (with the love, assistance and great patience from my beloved Dave), feeling a bit stronger and more well every day.  There are still lazy times and catnaps in the recliner.

It’s all good.

 

Thanks for stopping by!

 

I am a Warrior.

July 26, 2012 - Write Club

 

Click on the picture to read what it’s all about

Just a bit ago, I signed up for this. 

Yes, I do have a lot “on my plate” right now, but this sounds like fun.  The fact that only one submission is required sealed the deal for me, as I cannot obligate myself to a regular schedule at this time; I can handle one submission!

Click on the photo above to hop over to D.L. Hammons’ site Cruising Altitude, check it out and sign up!

I’m Wearing Yellow and LivingSTRONG

Now go write!

July 9, 2012 - A Little Progress

 

Well, Judy Reeves’ The Writer’s Retreat Kit made it’s way from our RV to my office this afternoon.  Having it in my field of vision will help in pulling another card and writing about one of the prompts.  I have been thinking and envisioning tackling another of the exercises.

See?  A wee bit of progress!

Thanks for stopping by!  Now go write!

July 4, 2012 - Insecure Writer’s Support Group

 

The first Wednesday of every month’s post is part of the IWSG

During our two weeks of vacation in June, I did get a bit  accomplished on my WIP.  July and August are shaping up to be somewhat more quiet on the work front, so I’m hopeful I will have more time to retreat into myself and crank out some major effort.

Everyday life distracts me from hunkering down in my writer’s lair.  Is that an excuse?  Perhaps.  I’m not sure.  I could just force myself to sit here every evening or on a rigid schedule, but that seems too regimented to me, and I’m afraid what I would write would not be my best effort, not my true effort . . . not my Truth, and putting down my Truth is what it’s all about.

My writing starts in my head; I’ll have entire paragraphs thought out before they hit the keyboard.  Frankly, the past two weeks since vacation have been so busy with Life that I have hardly had two thoughts I could call my own.

I’m certainly not stressing about it; I’ll find the time when . . . it’s time!

Thanks for stopping by!  Now go write!